


One Word

by TotalYoutubeFangirl



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Cuban Lance (Voltron), F/M, Gay Keith (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Insecurity, Lance (Voltron) Angst, M/M, Self-Harm, Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-15 23:46:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15424305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TotalYoutubeFangirl/pseuds/TotalYoutubeFangirl
Summary: Lance McClain may seem like the most confident kid in class, but he really isn’t. His mask covers his true feelings about who he really is, in hopes to be someone truly confident one day. However there is one trouble with the mask; it only hides who Lance truly is to people who aren’t wise enough to see through it.Keith Kogane can see right through it.And that is one hell of a problem for Lance.WARNING!! (Cuz idk where else to put this)CONTAINS SENSITIVE CONTENT INCLUDING: Suicidal thoughts and actions, self harm, anxiety, self hatred, depression?? (not sure if I’m adding it or not), and a whole lot of angst.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Thanks for checking This out!! It’s my first AO3 book, so I’m sorry if there are any mistakes. I hope you enjoy!!

#  One Word 

###  Chapter 1 

Lance’s POV

 

The blaring ringing of an alarm woke Lance up. He heard his sister groan and turn it off before getting up. However, the Cuban boy refused to start moving just yet. His alarm hadn’t disrupted his sleep, anyhow. His plan was to sleep until his own went off.

That was his plan, anyways. 

The next thing he knew, his twin sister was sitting on top of him, moving around to wake her brother up. 

“C’mon, Lance, first day of school,” Veronica stated, pushing and shoving harder to wake her twin up. He only groaned in response. 

Veronica sighed as she considered her next words. “Your morning routine won’t do itself.” Another groan, sounding more closer to words but it still had a long way to go. She was getting there. 

The Cuban girl smirked to herself as she finally figured out how to get him up. “Don’t you wanna look pretty for Keeeiiitthhh?” Lance finally started to stir. 

“I hate you,” he mumbled into his pillow before attempting to squirm his way out of his sisters weight. 

Eventually, Lance got up, cleaned, and dressed right before moving on to his hair. He needed to look perfect today. First day of school, right? He did what he could and gave himself a check in the mirror. _When did I get so skinny?_ Lance thought to himself. He double-checked to make sure his wrists weren’t visible. Loads of bracelets covered his forearms in attempt to hide the skin underneath. 

Lance made his way down to the kitchen where the rest of his family was. Abuela was cooking breakfast. Mamá was doing dishes. Louis was trying to keep the little kids controlled. Aunt Sofie was making lunches. Julia had been tending to baby Sarah in any way she knew how. However, the baby wouldn’t quit fussing. 

Lance hurried over to his sister-in-law and reached out for his niece. Julia sighed with relief before handing her child over. As soon as the baby was in his hands, he quickly started singing. 

_Sarah smiles like Sarah doesn’t care_

_She lives in her world so unaware_

_Does she know that my destiny lies with her_

Immediately Sarah stopped crying. Lance started swaying side to side as a way to ease her. Eventually, Lance put her in her high chair and made his way to the kitchen. He grabbed a bunch of plates and set them on the table for the family to enjoy. 

Veronica came barreling down the stairs speaking inaudible words. Soon enough, she was dragging Lance’s hand outside. “Come on, come on, come on!” The excitement in her voice was impossible to miss. “I _need_ to show you this!”

Once the front door closed, Veronica held up their phone right in front of Lance’s face. He had to pull her wrist back just to be able to see the screen. 

“We got our schedules a few weeks ago, why are you showing me this?” He was completely confused. 

“That’s not _my_ schedule, that’s _Keith’s_ schedule!” Lance’s eyes went wide. 

“No way! How did you get this?”

“Pidge is a wonderful human being.”

“Very much so!” Lance checked over every single class over and over. He had multiple classes with his crush. Not only that, but they had lunch together as well. It took him three minutes to fully memorize the poor boy’s schedule. 

“Maybe you’ll actually talk to him this year,” Veronica stated. “Ya know, instead of taunting him and insulting him.”

“It’s not my fault the rivalry started!” Lance complained. 

“Yeah, it is.”

“It was impulse and a way to keep my cool around him. It was actually a smart move, in the right light.”

“Oh please, you regret that decision every day.” This instantaneously deflated Lance. His shoulders hunched over and he wouldn’t meet his twin’s eyes. 

“Why is love so complicated?” Lance whined as he leaned against Veronica’s shoulder. 

“It’s not, you just make it complicated.” She snickered. “Did you eat? We should be leaving soon.”

“Yeah, I did.” Lance lied. He’d been lying. But, after all, he didn’t deserve the food. That was for his family. They needed it more than him. That same attitude is what got him like this with Keith. Keith Kogane was brilliant, creative, beautiful, reserved. Everything Lance wanted. Whether for himself or for his love interest, he didn’t care. But Lance felt as though Keith was too good for him. That’s why he created the rivalry, to seem like he was as good as Keith. That’s all he wanted, to be as good as Keith. To be as good as anyone, really. Throughout his life, he was always compared to everyone. Why can’t you focus, like Shiro? Why can’t you be quiet, like Hunk? Why can’t you be smart, like Pidge? Why can’t you do well, like Keith? Why can’t you be perfect, like your sister? 

Why can’t you be worth it, like everyone else?

“-ance? Lance, what’s wrong?” Veronica’s voice brought him back from his detrimental thoughts. 

“Oh, sorry I just spaced out,” Lance lied, again. He hated lying but, it was his only way to not make them worry. 

“You’re crying.” Veronica brought one of her hands to Lance’s face and wiped the tears that fell from his eyes. 

“Oh, I am? Sorry, didn’t mean to worry you.”

“You sure you’re good?” Concern laced her voice. Lance knew what she was thinking about. The one time he was caught. She didn't tell anyone as long as Lance promised to never cut again. He hasn’t since, but he kept the blades, just in case. 

Lance nodded, and Veronica dropped her hand. “Ok, I’m trusting you. Let’s go!” She squealed, obviously excited for school. 

The drive was very boring. Lance played Panic! At The Disco quietly as he hummed along. They pulled into the school parking lot and made their way to their school, Altean Castle High School. The place was quite interesting, really. It was a STEAM school, five different branches, or “Lions” as they call it. Science was the black lion, technology was the green lion, engineering was yellow, art was red, and math was blue. 

Once Lance was inside the school, he was immediately tackled by a short, brown haired girl. 

“Pidge!” Lance shrieked. “A little warning next time.”

“Sorry, I was excited,” She replied. Pidge peeled her body off of Lance and another body was on top of the Cuban boy. 

“Hunk!” Lance screamed again. “You don’t get an excuse, I saw you two days ago!”

“Pidge gets a hug, but I don’t?” Hunk pouted while removing himself from Lance. 

Pidge wrapped her arms around Lance again, before mumbling, “I missed you.”

_No, you didn’t_

“I missed you, too,” Lance stated while ruffling The girl’s hair. “Hey, Roni, mind if I hang with them for the rest of the morning?”

“Yeah, sure, want the phone?” She replied. 

“It’s your day, you keep it.” By that statement, Pidge let go of Lance and climbed onto Hunk’s back. 

The three of them walked down the hallway—two actually walking and one being carried—discussing classes and things along those lines. 

“Oh yeah, that reminds me. Pidge you’re the best human being to ever walk this planet,” the Cuban boy started. 

“I feel like I should be offended, but it’s true,” Hunk interrupted. 

“You got it?” Pidge asked, sounding eager. 

“I got it,” Lance replied, matching her tone. Hunk was completely confused by the interaction but didn’t question it. 

The first bell rang, and the trio went their separate ways. Lance headed to his first class, which he just happened to have with a certain someone. He walked into the classroom and was greeted by multiple people. _They don’t really care. It’s all fake._ He glanced around the room to find the seats were in a circle instead of rows. He sat down at a random one, the seats around him quickly filling. 

Lance had looked throughout the circle trying to find him. About a third of the circle to his left, he found a familiar mullet attached to a familiar face. Familiar violet eyes gazed down at the familiar sketchbook. Familiar all black headphones plugged into a familiar phone. Familiar studs slid inside familiar ears. A familiar red flannel covered the familiar shoulders. Despite how familiar everything looked about him, Keith Kogane still remained unfamiliar to Lance. 

A loud clap drew Lance out of his staring. He looked up to see the teacher in the middle of the circle, hands together and a perky smile plastered on her face. 

“Alright class, lets get started!” She sang. “I am Ms. Piper, and welcome to AP Social Studies. Now, I know you all know each other, but I’m new here. So, I was hoping you could help me with that!” The entire class groaned due to the mention of icebreakers. “I know, I know, I’m horrible. First day, and you’re already miserable. But, this isn’t some ‘go around and say your name and a cool fact’ type of thing. Names are easy for me. However, I want to know what you think of your classmates. I’m not formulating opinions on you based on what another said. Everyone thinks differently about people. I’ll explain the point of this activity after we do it.”

“Get on with it,” someone interrupted. 

“Ok, fine,” Ms. Piper said, smile wavering a little bit. But she rolled her eyes and played it off. “I’m giving you a slip of paper with someone else’s name on it. You are going to write a word that you think best describes them. Good?”Throughout the class, there were nods and groans of agreement. After that, Ms. Piper picked up a bucket from her desk and started handing people sheets of paper and asked for their names and the name on their sheet. 

I got Chloe Miller; a pure, simple person. She was all-in-all, amazing. Like an angel, or a goddess. So that’s what Lance put: goddess. 

After everyone finished, Ms. Piper took the papers from everyone. “Alright, class. I’ll be reading these out loud, now. These will remain anonymous unless it is something extremely hurtful.” She began reading off names and adjectives while kids around them would react. 

_I wonder what I’ll get_ , Lance thought. _No one really understands me here. They all think I’m great. I hate how they’ll do something basic. Like ‘hot’ or ‘kind’. No one wants to get to know me to do something more meaningful._

“Keith Kogane,” a name that caught Lance’s attention. However, Lance didn’t physically react, his mind stopped racing to listen. “Mysterious.” _Seriously?? ‘That’s’ what he got?_

“Lance McClain,” Lance shot up at his name. Ms. Piper squinted at the paper as if it didn’t say anything. “Insecure.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyeee!! You’re still here. I hope you enjoy!! I think I’m going to be publishing every Tuesday, but I’m not sure. So far, that’s what I’m trying to do. 
> 
> Anyways, this is a kinda short chapter but I think it’s decent so.

#  Chapter Two 

###  Lance POV 

Lance panicked. Like almost visibly panicked. He couldn’t think of any snarky remark to deny it. He was so taken off guard by it, he didn’t know what to do. 

“Lance? Insecure? No way. He’s like, the cockiest man alive.” A voice said. Once turned his head and caught Allura smirking while leaning back on her chair. They made eye contact and Lance gave a sarcastic smile. 

“These aren’t up for discussion. Now let’s continue.” Ms. Piper remarked. 

As she continued to read off names and words to describe them, Lance couldn’t stop thinking about his word. No one in this class knew him well enough to know that. Hell, his friends didn’t even know that. So, who knew?

The rest of class was going over the syllabus and rules for the classroom. Once the bell rang, Lance bee-lined to the teacher’s desk.

“H-Hi, Ms. Piper,” Lance started, grabbing her attention. 

“Hi, you’re Lance, right?” Ms. Piper asked, and Lance nodded. “You come here for something, or just to say hi?”

“Uhh, could I ask who had my name?” Lance basically mumbled. 

“Oh, yes!” she said chirpy. She looked at her list for a few seconds before looking back at me. “I’m sorry, the person asked to remain anonymous. If it’s an extreme emergency, I’ll ask them.”

“Can you?” Lance begged. 

“Will do.” Lance left and headed towards his next class. This class he shared with Veronica. She was the only person who truly knew Lance. She was the only person who saw Lance at his most vulnerable. She’d help, right?

_She won’t abandon me, right?_

_She hadn’t yet, right?_

_She hasn’t betrayed me, right?_

Oh, god what if she told someone about what Lance was doing? She wouldn’t do that, right? Lance wasn’t a gossip topic, right? No, she wouldn’t. _Does Veronica have friends in my class anyways?_

Allura. 

Allura was Veronica’s friend. One of the closer ones, as well. What if Veronica told her? Would Veronica really do that? Would Allura really do that? Reveal Lance’s biggest secret to the class just to make a joke about it? No, she wouldn’t do that. They wouldn’t do that. 

Right?

Lance sped to his next class. He had to find out if Veronica really betrayed him like that. 

_Of course she would. You’re pathetic. Weak. Insecure. Everyone knows now because you can’t even hide it well. Every single thing you do is a fuck up. And Veronica has to deal with it because she’s your sister._

Lance bit the inside of his cheek to keep him from crying. His breathing became more rapid every time he sucked in air. 

_Veronica is too perfect to worry about you._

Lance started to stumble. 

_Your parents only wanted one anyways._

Lance’s vision became littered with black dots. 

Her _parents only wanted one anyways._

He tripped over his foot, crashing into the wall and twisting his ankle. 

_They only kept you because the adoption agency didn’t want you either. Who would want a bisexual son?_

Lance started to feel tears down his face. 

_Look at everyone walking past you. They don’t care. No one cares, Lance._

That sentence kept repeating in his head. _No one cares, Lance. No one cares, Lance. No one cares, Lance. No one cares, Lance. No one cares, La—_

“—nce? Lance!” Veronica called out to him. “Lance, are you ok?” He shook his head. “Shit—Lance, I need you to focus on your breathing. Listen to my voice. Listen to what I’m saying. You need to breathe in and out on my cue. In for 1.....2.....3. Now out 1.....2.....3.” She continued this until his breathing slowed. Then she whispered sweet nothings in to Lance. Veronica never said, however, that he was worth everything he was given. 

And that’s all Lance needed to hear. 

But he wasn’t going to ask. 

“Lance, what happened?” Veronica finally asked. 

“D-did you tell Allura?” He stuttered out. 

“Tell her what?”

“A-about my...wrists?”

“God, Lance, no. I’d never do that.”

“Someone might k-know.”

“Don’t worry about it, they’re probably just being an asshole.”

Lance sighed. Not of relief, but of pain. It hurt that someone knew. Someone he didn’t trust knew his greatest secret. And some people he trusted didn’t even know this secret. Only one person—two people—knew this. 

The bell rang, signaling that second period ended. Veronica sighed before standing up and reaching out her hand to help Lance on his feet. 

“I’ve got it,” Lance retorted, swatting her hand away. He tried his best to get up, only to fall on his ass due to his ankle. 

“No, you don’t, let me help.” She held her hand out again. 

“I’ve got it, I promise.” He didn’t have it. 

“Lance, c’mon, stop being stubborn. It’s ok to have help sometimes.” That sentence made Lance snap. 

“No, Veronica. I said I’ve got it. Stop making me look like a burden.” She bent down to look at Lance in the eye. 

“You are _not_ and _never_ will be a burden. I’ll never let myself think of you that way. It’s ok to ask for help.” She rubbed his arm soothingly. 

“I understand, but let me do this. To prove I’m not weak.” Veronica nodded and stood back up. She watched as Lance finally got up. “I’m heading to third.”

“Ok, text me if anything happens.” Lance parted and made his way to the gym. Third period was P.E., or team building and training. Pidge, Hunk, and Lance all signed up together because they needed the credits, plus it was only one class. That way, they could have something together if all else failed. But Keith had also chosen that class. 

He entered the gym to find only six people inside. Pidge, Hunk, Allura, and Keith were the only students. He headed over to the green and yellow pair chatting away about some tech stuff. 

“Hey guys,” Lance spoke. They didn’t acknowledge him.

_Of course they didn’t notice you. You’re worthless. What would they want with you?_

“Hello class!” A man said. He had bright orange hair and a majestic mustache. He had a bright blue, white, and gold track suit on with a whistle around his neck. His left hand held a clipboard close to his chest. “My name is Mr. Coran. Coran is fine. As you may have noticed, this class is quite small. I prefer it this way. Now, we can try to spend more time bonding than with a bigger class. I have a student teacher with me. His name is Shiro, and he’s rummaging in the back to find supplies for today. Now, if you’d all tell me your name or nickname.”

“Pidge.”

“Hunk.”

“Allura.”

“Keith.”

“Lance.” He mumbled, averting his eyes. He couldn’t look anyone in the eye at the moment. The eyes were the gateway to the mind. 

“I’m sorry, son,” Lance flinched at the nickname, “I couldn’t hear you. What was your name?”

“Lance,” he spoke again. By then, Shiro, has exited the closet with an armful of stuff. He had all black hair with a white tuft in the front. It went down to his nose which had a scar across it. He had a prosthetic right arm. 

“Shiro! Come meet our students.” Coran yapped to him. “Lance, Pidge, Hunk, Allura, and you’ve met Keith.”

“Nice to meet you all, and good to see you are here, Keith.” Shiro stayed while winking at the raven-haired boy. 

_Of course Keith had a boyfriend. He’s perfect. Why would he be single, much less date you? You’re worthless. Insecure. And he knows that now._

“—and no jewelry. Sorry, Lance.” Coran stated. 

“Oh, sorry, I dosed off. What was that?” Lance spoke. He heard someone scoff behind him, but Lance was too scared to see who it was. 

“No worries. I was explaining some of the rules. I noticed the bracelets on your wrist. That’s quite a lot of them. However, it’s a safety hazard to have any jewelry on, so you must take them off. “ He has no problem repeating what was previously said, but it was more directed to Lance so he understood. 

“Do I have to?” Lance asked quietly to the mustache man. 

“I’m afraid so. Only medical or military jewelry allowed.”

Lance _could not_ take off his bracelets. Not in front of Hunk. Not in front of Pidge. Not in front of Keith. What would they think? They’d hate him even more. 

“Ok just let me put them in my locker.” Coran nodded and Lance bolted out of the room. He ran to his locker to grab his phone. He needed to text his sister. Tell her to take him home. 

However, when he reaches his locker, a word was spelt out in magnetic letters. 

‘INSECURE’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed my trashy chapter! I’m glad you actually read it lol. Tell me what you think!!


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oi!! I see you’re back again....why tho? Anyways here’s another chapter of my trash. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> P.S. I’m working on the formatting of the beginning stuff, so if you see that change every chapter, it’s mainly me changing my opinion on those aspects (and me forgetting how I previously did it but that doesn’t matter)

#  Chapter Three 

Keith POV 

“Keith,” Coran spoke. “Can you go get Lance? He’s been gone quite a while.”

Keith rolled his eyes before heading outside of the gym. The boy didn’t understand how he could be of use since he didn’t know where Lance was. So, he looked down most of the downstairs hallways before heading up the stairs, aimlessly wandering. Until he heard the faint sound of sobs. The closer to the top, the more evident sobs became. 

Keith stopped in his tracks when he layed eyes upon a broken teenager. Dark brown hair. Caramel skin. Bright blue eyes that weren’t as bright as he remembered them to be. 

Lance was sobbing uncontrollably in front of his locker. 

Keith hesitantly stepped closer to see if there was any blatant cause. It hit him like a bus when he saw the word ‘INSECURE’ placed on Lance’s locker. 

_This is my fault, isn’t it?_ Keith thought. _Am I the reason he hasn’t been so cheerful today? Did I actually break the cocky, jackass named Lance McClain?_

“Lance, are you ok?” Keith quietly asked the sobbing boy, crouching down so they were the same level. The Cuban boy looked up at Keith with pure fear in his eyes. He could tell Lance’s breath started to pick up even more than before, shaking more vigorously. “Lance, don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone, ok? This’ll be our little secret.” Keith placed a hand on the boys back and he instantly melted into the touch. “I won’t hurt you...” _...anymore than I have..._

So, the two boys sat there for a minute, one with his left arm around a crying boy without an ounce of self-esteem inside. Until Lance pushed himself away from the other one. 

“Sorry you had to see me like this...I—” He started, but the other interrupted. 

“Don’t apologize, it’s ok to be not ok every once and a while. Do you want me to take you home? You’ve had a pretty rough day today.” Keith smiled at the crying boy who nodded in response.

Keith soon took off the magnets on Lance’s locker and shoved them in the trash can. He took out his phone and texted Shiro what was happening. 

“Ok, I’m ready when you are. We can stay here as long as you’d like until you’re ready to come home.” Keith leaned down to run circles on Lance’s back. 

“Let’s go, I don’t want to keep you from class too long,” the crying boy mumbled. 

“Don’t worry, the class seemed kinda boring anyway.” Keith stood up and held out his hand for Lance. 

And he took it. 

Lance grabbed Keith’s hand to get up. 

And to Lance’s surprise, Keith didn’t let go. He smiled at the broken boy and took him out to his red motorbike. 

“I’ve got a spare helmet, but you’ll have to hold onto my waist or you’ll fly off.” Keith pulled his hand away from Lance’s and took out both helmets, giving one to Lance. Then he swung his leg over the bike and wait for Lance to get on. 

“Ummm...” Lance started. “I know you said you were going to take me home, but I don’t want to head there right now.”

“Where do you wanna go?” Keith asked. Lance smirked at the question. 

“Just follow my directions.” And with that, Lance got on the bike and wrapped his arms around Keith. 

 

•.•.•.•.•.•.•

 

“Lance, I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, I’ll take you to the beach, but I will _not_ get in the water.”

“C’mon, mullet, why not?” Lance asked. 

“That is a story for another day, my friend.”

“What’d you just say?” Lance questioned. 

“That’s a story for another day...” The pale boy felt extremely confused. 

“No, after that.”

“My friend? I don’t know, why does it matter?”

“It doesn’t I just—I haven’t been called someone’s friend in a really long time.” There was a faint smile on the Cuban boy’s face as he said that. 

“What’da mean?” Keith asked, still confused. Lance chuckled. 

“That is a story for another day, my friend.” 

Both boys sat there for a little talking about small, light topics: favorite foods, heritage, what lion they’re in. Eventually it led to their current topic. 

“No way!” Keith shouted. “‘Nine in the Afternoon’ is _way_ better than ‘Northern Downpour’!”

“Nu-uh. Besides, ‘Sarah Smiles’ will always be better than both of those.” Lance argued. 

“I can agree with that, but what I’m saying is ‘Nine in the Afternoon’ is what P!ATD’s old stuff is known by.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” Lance nagged. “You should be getting back to school. You shouldn’t miss class because of me.”

“Hey,” Keith spoke, trying to sound as soft as possible. “I don’t mind. As long as you’re ok.”

“But what about you?”

“What about me?”

“You’ve gotta be taken care of. Somebody has to have your back. Like you’re perfect, you—,” Lance stopped and realized what he said. “Omg I didn’t mean it like that, I mean like you’re so carefree and easygoing and everyone loves you and you’re always so nice and kind to anyone you meet even if you don’t seem like it at first and your hair is just so amazing and you’re really cool and you’ve got like a boyfriend and everything and—”

“Lance!”

“Yeah?”

“Calm down, it’s alright. I didn’t catch a word of your little explosion there, but stop worrying. How ‘bout this? You’ll be there for me, and I’ll be there for you. We’ll call it the...laith pact, alright?” Keith didn’t know what he was saying, but as long as it cheered Lance up. That’s all Keith was focused on, really. It was his fault Lance was like this today. Lance had a light blush on his face before responding. 

“Laith? No, klance sounds much better.” Lance snickered.

“No! That’s just your name with a ‘k’ in front of it, no creativity or effort put into it at all. I—why are you laughing?”

“Nothing, it’s just funny to know you’re a hot-head sometimes.”

“Am not.”

“Whatever you say.”

“I’m not!”

“Doesn’t matter. Klance pact.” Lance held out his pinky to Keith, who rolled his eyes at the ‘Klance’ part, yet still grabbed the pinky with his own. They stayed for a little in comfortable silence, looking out at the ocean that would move back and forth. 

“Ok, I’m ready when you are. No rush.” Keith spoke soothingly. 

“I think I’m gonna stay here for a little while longer. You go ahead and go back. My house isn’t far from here.” Lance replied, not looking up at the Korean boy. 

“Ok, do you have my number?” Lance shook his head. Keith then bent down and took Lance’s phone from his hand. “Passcode.”

“0728.”

“K,” the pale teen replied. “Here. My number’s in there, text me if you need anything.”

And with that, Keith left the Cuban boy on the beach. The boy who no one really knew. The boy who couldn’t find any motivation to go on. 

The boy who was insecure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! You made it! Please tell me what you think! I’d love feedback, whatever the kind. 
> 
> Yeah, I know my chapters are short and my chapter titles are uncreative. 
> 
> Also, should I put subject warnings at the start of chapters? Like stuff that will be dealt with in the chapter. (Ex. Self harm, anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts)
> 
> Thanks so much for reading my book!!
> 
> See ya next Tuesday(probably)!


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok Voltron Season 7 killed me. Also, slight spoiler, Veronica isn’t Lance’s twin, but oh well. It’s an AU anyways. 
> 
> Seriously though, I hope you enjoy.

#  Chapter Four 

Keith’s POV 

 

Keith returned to the high school feeling guilty for leaving Lance alone on the beach. But, then again, Lance told him to go and he didn’t want to intrude. 

He spent the next hour finishing his last class before heading toward his bike, only to be stopped by a familiar someone. 

“Hey, you’re Keith, right?” The tan girl asked. 

“Yes, what’s it matter?” Keith replied a little more harshly than he should’ve.

“I heard you took Lance home, what happened? And why didn’t they tell me to do it?” She placed a hand on her hip to look a tad more intimidating. Keith rolled his eyes and tried to walk around her, but she stepped in his way. 

“Listen, lady, not to be rude but I have to get home. I don’t know how you know Lance, but I can’t tell you what happened. Sorry.” Keith tried to no avail. 

“I’m his sister.”

“That explains why you look so alike.”

“It also explains why you should tell me what went down.”

“Ask him.”

“You’re closer.”

“Look, he told me not to tell anyone, so I’m not. That doesn’t mean you can’t go to him and ask. And as of where he is, last I saw him he was at the beach.”

“The beach? That’s like five miles away from our house.”

“Really? He told me he lived close to it.”

“He just didn’t want to burden you, taking him to the beach and _then_ his house.”

“That’s ridiculous, I would’ve been fine taking him home as well.”

“He doesn’t know that.” She sighed. “Listen, I don’t know what happened but it couldn’t be very good. He had a—rough day.”

“Exactly how I put it.”

“How much do you know, besides what you refuse to tell me?”

Keith froze up a little. How was he supposed to tell Lance’s sister that he practically name-called Lance and caused him to be bullied by some jackass. Or multiple jackasses. He didn’t know.

“Umm, well, he was called insecure in class—”

“By who?”

“It was anonymous...”

“Goddamn teachers and their icebreakers.” She mumbled. “Look, I gotta go get Lance, thanks for taking him away from this toxic prison for a little.”

“See ya later.” Keith spoke and swung a leg over his bike. Just before he turned on his engine, Lance’s sister came back. 

“So are you two friends now?” She asked.

“I don’t know, but I am here for him if he needs anything.” And with that, she nodded and finally left him. 

Keith drove home in the afternoon traffic thinking about his first day. He practically ruined Lance’s school year. If not, at least his first week. 

It’s not like what Keith said wasn’t true. But, it wasn’t obvious to someone who wasn’t looking. Keith, however, didn’t talk to people. He watched and listened to them, in the most un-stalkerlike way. He observed people, watched how they interacted with one another, how they talked, the jokes people told. He did this in case he—god forbid—had to converse with someone. Today just happened to be his lucky day where he talked to not one, but two people he didn’t have to. 

Keith got to his apartment building and seeing familiar cars of his neighbors he’d never meet. Shiro’s car was within the lot as well. Keith trudged up the stairs until he reached his floor, and sagged down the hallway to his apartment: 4D. 

“Shiro, I’m back!” Keith called as he entered the small apartment. 

“I’m in the living room!” Shiro called back. Keith followed the voice to the secluded living room, only to find Shiro spralled on the couch with no pants on watching Netflix and eating chips. 

“Gah—Shiro, put some pants on!” Keith yelped, so thankful Shiro was wearing boxers.

“Why, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.” He replied, not lifting his gaze from the tv. 

“Seriously, put something over your thighs.” The mullet-haired boy snarked back. 

“Pants are an illusion and so is death.” Keith rolled his eyes at the quote and sat down on the little room left on the couch. 

“Pizza or Chinese?” Keith asked. 

“Pizza, we had Chinese last night.”

“We had pizza for breakfast.”

“And your argument is...?”

“Pizza it is.” Keith called the Garrett’s Pizzaria and Bakery. Best pizza. Best cookies. That’s all Keith and Shiro get, so that’s all they know is heavenly. 

Keith ordered a few large pizzas with every topping Shiro wanted one one, the rest just pepperoni, and two large chocolate chip cookies. It took a half an hour for their food to arrive. Of course, Keith was forced to open the door since Shiro was ‘in my lazy comfort zone, if I’m bothered I will murder someone.’

“Hello, are yo—wait—Keith _Kogane_?” The delivery man questioned. Keith couldn’t see his face over the mountain of food. 

“That’s my name,” Keith replied. 

“I’m Hunk, we have third together.” The man—who Keith now recognized as Hunk—told him.

“Oh yeah, I remember you, Lance and that other girl’s name, Pidge was it? You guys are, like, best friends.” Keith shot back. 

“That’s me!” Hunk happily grinned. “Wait, do you know what happened to Lance? He didn’t come back after he ran out of the room. Neither did you, now that I think of it.” 

“Oh, uh, Lance wasn’t feeling too good so I took him home, that’s all.” Keith lied. _Wouldn’t Hunk know how Lance was?_ The pale boy thought. _Did he not think to text him and ask? I’m sure Lance would’ve told him, they’re best friends after all._

“You wanna come in?” Shiro shouted from the living room entrance, covering his lower half with the wall. “We’ve got Netflix and a buttload of the best pizza in town. And I promise I’ll put on pants.”

Hunk raised an eyebrow but decided not to question. “Yeah sure, sounds fun.” Keith opened the door a little wider to allow Hunk in. He took Hunk to the kitchen to set down the pizza while Shiro bolted to his room to get some comfy pants on. 

A few hours past before Hunk had to go home, and Keith made sure to pay him and give a generous tip. 

“So, Lance?” Shiro questioned. 

“What about him?” Keith didn’t quite understand the random interrogation, and with the way Shiro was speaking, he didn’t really want to know where it was going.

“You took him home.”

“Not exactly, but close enough.” Keith started cleaning up the mess left around to small apartment.

“Why’d you take him home?”

“‘Cause he wasn’t feeling well.”

“Why didn’t you get someone else, like Hunk or Lance’s sister?”

“I was closest.”

“So are you guys friends now? More than that?” Keith couldn’t pin the tone in his voice. Jealousy? Anger? Sadness? Whatever it was, Keith didn’t like it.

“Just friends.” Keith rolled his eyes while blushing a little. 

“For now, or forever?”

“Why are you so interested in my life all of the sudden?” Keith snapped.

“Chill, I wondering why my antisocial b—”

“I can have guy friends, Shiro! It’s not that hard to believe, is it? And FYI, I did it because I pity him. I feel really bad about the position he’s in right now and I want to help him through it. Believe it or not I’m not a general asshole.” And with that, Keith ran to his room and slammed the door. 

Keith laid down on his bed looking up at the ceiling for what felt like eternity, thinking about nothing. Until his phone buzzed. 

**Unknown:** Hey, it’s Lance. Just wanted to text you to make sure you had my number in your phone. 

Keith read the message and a slight smile crept on his face. He changed the contact name as soon as he got the text. 

**Keith:** Thanks, I’ll see you tomorrow?

 **Lance:** See you tomorrow!

And with that, Keith and Lance both went to bed after their exchange.

Keith kept thinking what he did this morning. He could’ve chosen any other word and it would need no explanation as to why that was chosen.

Cocky

Loverboy

Excitable

Annoying

Entertaining

Any word would’ve been better than what he chosen, right? Anything would’ve been better than the truth, right? Anything would’ve been better than insecure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ye! Tell me what you think of this chapter. Thanks for reading!! I’ll see you next Tuesday (hopefully)!
> 
> Do you even read these? Lol. Tell me if you do.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe oops!
> 
> Graphic content ahead: Cutting, self-harm, depression, etc.
> 
> Extremely short chapter cuz I procrastinate with everything, even with things I like.

#  Chapter Five 

Lance POV 

_Worthless._

_Annoying._

_Useless._

_Replaceable._

_Idiotic._

_Insecure._

_That’s all you are. To everyone. Nobody wants you here. You’re a burden to your family. You’re a burden to your sister. A burden to your friends. And now, a burden to Keith._

Lance kept digging the blade into his skin. Over and over. Slice after slice. Scar after scar. Cut after cut. Closer and closer to death.

_You’re a coward, Lance. You can’t even—_

“Lance?” He heard. “Lance is it you in there? What are you doing up so late?”

_Shit. Shit. Shit,_

“Lance, can you open the door?” No answer. His throat was too raw to answer. “I’m coming in.” The Cuban boy scrambled as he heard the lock being picked from outside the bathroom door. He didn’t have time to properly wrap his cuts and clean all the blood off the floor. But he tried. Oh god, he tried so hard to make it look like it was normal—that he was normal. 

Veronica was able to pick the lock faster than usual. It may have been the adrenaline or the practice she’s had recently. Either way, she got inside the bathroom in record time, only to find her twin mopping up his blood with whatever was left on the toilet paper roll. His wrists were wrapped poorly in the same paper and his bracelets were spewed around the small room. A bloody razor blade was left on the counter. All in all, it was a horrid site. A shameful site. One that Veronica McClain should never have had to see again. One that Lance McClain should never had have to live through again. 

“Lance...” the boy flinched at the sound of his name. He didn’t want to be pitied. All his life he’s been pitied. His sister is the last one he wanted to use that tone. 

“Save it, Veronica.” He whisper-yelled, trying to keep his voice under-low so he didn’t wake the rest of the house. “I know I shouldn’t be cutting. I know there are other ways of dealing with this. I know I’m not alone. The last thing I want is for me to seem weak. You know this. So please, just don’t. Just...tell me how your day went while I clean up my mistake. My slip-up.” Veronica could feel tears roll down her cheeks. She grabbed a towel from under the sink and helped him clean up. 

“Well, today, I started off by waking my perfectly annoying twin up so we could go to school. First day of school. I had breakfast, and drove me and him to our high school while we played some P!ATD. He and I split up. I went to first with my friends and it went pretty well. I have Mr. Patrick again for English.” Veronica started rinsing the towel with hot water in the sink to drain the blood. “Then I skipped second to be with my brother and talked to him. Headed to third, College Algebra. Half-way through it, I find out my brother left the school with his crush to hang out. I asked Keith what it was about and he said to talk to you so...” She reaches for the first aid kit underneath the sink and pulled out some bandages. 

“I—I feel so guilty. I hate being the center of your world. I want you to have a life, without me.” Lance sobbed. 

“My life wouldn’t be the same without you. I love you, you’re my twin. No matter what. Fuck everyone else who doesn’t love you.”

“Even Dad?” Veronica stopped at this. Lance knew it was his fault his father was absent. He knew his family resented him for it. If Lance hadn’t existed, their family would be so much happier. 

“Thank you for helping me, I’m heading to bed.” Lance got up and swung the door wider so he could get through. 

“Lance,” he turned a little to face her, not looking her in the eye. “Please stop cutting. This is the last time before I’m telling someone.”

“You go ahead and do that. You’re the only one who cares, so it won’t matter.” And with that he left to their room, heading straight for the bed.

The boy heard his sister shuffle in afterwards. A little after, her breath was slow and even. Calm. Obvious she wasn’t awake anymore. Lance, however, couldn’t fall asleep. His mind kept racing. Going over past mistakes, regrets, basically running through every bad moment in his head before he couldn’t take it anymore. 

Before he could truly think about it, he texted Keith. He texted Keith. _He_ texted _Keith_. 

_Lance_ texted _Keith_. 

Asking if he wanted to go somewhere. At 2 in the morning. Not only is that clingy, it’s annoying. Plus, who would be up at that time? Only Lance. Lonely Lance. 

He was about to text saying that he was sorry. That it was stupid. That he was stupid. But he saw that he read the text. 

_Shit, you woke him up. Now he’ll never love you._

Then he saw the three dot bubble. And for a split second, Lance panicked. _He’s going to put you in your place. Tell you you aren’t even friends and never will be._

And then he saw the text. 

_Sure, where?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe oops...
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEEAAASEE tell me what you think. 
> 
> Also, I want to mention that if you are feeling depressed, suicidal, socially anxious, etc. and you feel like you can’t talk to anyone, comment your email, social media, or whatever and I’ll be there for you. 
> 
> We all go through shitty times and it’s even worse when we can’t tell someone about it. Plus it’s easier to tell a complete stranger cuz I won’t judge you for it. 
> 
> But yeah. 
> 
> Now I’m rambling. 
> 
> SEE YA NEXT TUESDAY (hopefully?)!!!!


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Chapter sex—SIX! I meant six ;) ;)
> 
> Lol sorry I had to
> 
> IM SORRRYYYY FOR NOT POSTING LAST TURSDAY!! My life’s shit. 
> 
> I might be doing every other Tuesday because my life has been kinda busy lately (not like anyone cares but ok)..
> 
> ANYWAYSSSS!!! Here’s the chapter!! Please tell me what you think!! Hope you enjoy!!

#  Chapter Six 

Lance POV 

 

Nervousness is a funny feeling. It can happen at any moment for any given reason. You could be presenting in front of the class. Performing for the world. Being launched into space. Showing someone something you’re proud of. Maybe even just talking to people. It comes from the feeling of being out of your comfort zone. People get nervous over the biggest and smallest of things. Usually, it’s for nothing. 

But sometimes, it can be because your world is about to change. 

For better or for worse, one single moment can determine your entire future. 

And that’s what made Lance so nervous in this very moment. 

Backtrack to about 10 minutes ago, Lance had received a text from his _crush_ agreeing to go somewhere random in the middle of the night. 

Now Lance was standing outside his house, arms tightly wound in whatever gauze he could find, about to sneak away from his family to do god knows what with someone who didn’t know he existed till about 17 hours ago.

Lance knew he was nervous for this. Who wouldn’t be? But he didn’t fully know _how_ nervous till a familiar red motorbike pulled up to his small suburban house that was rotting away. A red bike that held a mysterious man dressed in black jeans, a black leather jacket, and a red helmet covering his face. A red bike that was going to take him away with this mysterious man. Lance’s hands couldn’t stop shaking. His one thought going through his head was, _I could not possibly be more nervous._

That is, until Keith removed his helmet, long, dark hair falling out from it. He turned his head to face the man in the doorway and Lance’s knees almost buckled right then and there. He looked absolutely stunning. It’s like Lance fell in love all over again. 

He stood on the molded porch, watching as this gorgeous being placed on Earth smiles kindly at him. Lance was frozen in place, the only blood that was pumping was to his cheeks. 

“Hey,” Keith plainly said, as if it didn’t have any affect on the way Lance’s health condition would be in. 

“H-hey,” Lane replied back, forcing himself to move from the spot he was formerly glued to. Keith held out the same helmet from their last ride. Lance hesitantly took the worn-out blue helmet. He swung his leg over the bike and sat down, chest pressed up against Keith. He did have an few inches of room before having to touch Keith, but Keith didn’t need to know that. 

The engine revved beneath the two boys as they sped away into the direction of their destination. 

 

•.•.•.•.•.•.•

 

This wasn’t going horribly. Throughout his entire time being around Keith, he’s only made 10 mistakes. But who’s keeping count? Lance is. Lance is counting every single wrong move he’s made around him. 

They walked along the path leading to the center of the park. It was all landscaped, but it looked really natural. The moonlight hit Keith perfectly, making him look angelic. 

“Wanna play twenty questions?” Keith asked out of the blue.

“Hm?”

“Twenty questions. I realize I don’t know a lot about you, and you don’t know a lot about me. Isn’t this a thing people do?”

“Y-yeah it is. I’ll go first.” Lance took a moment to think of a question. “Favorite color.”

“Red, I guess? No one’s really asked me before.” Keith turned to Lance once they reached the end of the walkway. 

“Seriously? No one?” Lance asked, facing Keith.

“You make it sound like a bad thing. Anyways, my turn.” They both sat down on the grass while Keith contemplated a question. “Favorite animal.”

“Easy. Shark.”

“Ok, now ask me.” He said impatiently. 

“Tell me about your family.” Keith visibly froze up at the sentence. 11 mistakes. “—Or not! Sorry, stupid question. I was just thinking it’d be one that wasn’t boring or something to let me know you better. Don’t worry about answering. I mean, you can if you want but—”

“Lance, don’t worry.” Keith’s voice was calm and smooth. He gave Lance a small smile that made the Cuban’s heart melt. “It’s a trust activity, right? I trust you, Lance. I just—it’s not something I want to say out loud. Something I deal with in my head. Nobody knows about it. Not even Shiro.”

It was Lance’s turn to freeze up. Lance practically asked Keith out in the middle of the night even though he had a boyfriend. A college student, not to mention. _Why would he like you anyways? Don’t get your hopes up, Lancey-boy, don’t want to have your heart broken again._

“I—I should go. Sorry I woke you up. I was being stupid and didn’t think,” Lance mumbled. 

“First, you didn’t wake me up. Second, I should be apologizing for making it awkward. Third, you aren’t stupid.” Keith smiled genuinely at Lance and the latter returned it. 

“Thanks, but I really should go.” The teenager stood up from his spot. 

“Ok, lets go then.” Keith stood up as well.

“No, don’t worry about me. I’ll walk home. It’s not too far from here.”

“Lance, it took us 10 minutes to drive, I’m not letting you walk home.”

“Keith, I told you to not worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

“It’s dark, cold, and dangerous. C’mon.” Before Lance could protest further, the black-haired boy was dragging him to his bike.

The ride back was silent. Even if they did talk, it couldn’t have been heard over the engine. Yet, it still felt unusually quiet, like they should’ve been talking. 

Even when Lance was dropped off, all he got was a “See you tomorrow, Lance.” And Lance, being too nervous to respond, gave him a _head nod_. How cringey that must’ve been. 12 mistakes. 

Lance walked into his house as quietly as he could. Floorboards creaked here and there, plus all the doors needed oiling, but for the most part he was ninja-silent. He slipped into his room and got changed into sweatpants. He was finally crawling into his bed when he heard sniffling. 

“Veronica?” He called out.

Lance could tell Veronica started to hold her breath to be quieter. He walked over to her bed and gently placed his hand on her shoulder while crouching down beside her. 

“Hey, Veronica, what’s wrong?” Lance whispered. She finally turned over to face her twin and crushed her body into his, holding on as tightly as possible. She sobbed into his shirt as if she had been holding in every tear she’s felt. 

Lance started to sing the familiar melody of their favorite song. 

“ _I was fine just a guy livin’ on my own,_

_Waitin’ for the sky to fall,_

_Then you called and changed it all, doll.”_

While singing the lyrics, Lance realized something. _I’m not the only one who is insecure._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof how cringey was that?? 
> 
> Alsooooooo, please comment!! Like, anything!! I love reading what you guys have to say, plus I’m extremely bored. 
> 
> Pls
> 
> Help meh


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HII!! Ok I gave myself an extra week and still finished the hour I published it....why am I like this...?
> 
> ANYWAYS!! Here's another shit chapter to add to the collection! Hope you enjoy!!

#  Chapter Seven 

Keith's POV 

The previous day was...eventful for Keith, to say the least. By the time he got back to the shared apartment that morning, it was already 3:30. Not only that, but he wasn't the least bit tired. So he just went to his bed and just laid there, thinking. At first it was light thoughts, something along the lines of _hey, you made a new friend_ , but then turned into something like _you just fucked over another person's life_. 

It wasn't necessarily Keith's fault. The whole "insecure" thing was, technically, but it was the teacher who did the activity in the first place. However, Keith still felt insanely guilty for it.

Guilt.

Keith hadn't felt that in a long time. Not since his mother left him 12 years ago. 

And now that moment was all he could think about.

_"Mom, where are we going?" a young Keith asked his mother. He was almost 6 years old at the time, his birthday coming up within a couple months. Keith's mom turned back to her son, a sad smile planted on her face._

_"Aww, Keithy-baby, don't you remember? It's your first day of school!" She reached her hand back and tickled his stomach._

_"Ahh-Mom sto-o-op!" the boy squealed, squirming under her reach._

_"We're here, love. This is the last I'll be seeing of you for a while. I'm going on a...trip."_

_"Why?" The child asked impatiently._

_"It has nothing to do with you...I think. I'm not sure. Just remember I will love you always." She pulled into a parking spot. "Here ya go, bud. Dad's gonna pick you up. I hope you enjoy school. Elementary is fun. Middle school is more dramatic. High school will be insane. Just remember, stay true to yourself. Keep your ideals. And don't do drugs."_

_"Mommy, what are you talking about?" Keith giggled. "I'll see you tonight, right?"_

_She hesitated for a moment before giggling along with him. "Maybe, bud. Just--don't forget what I said, ok?"_

_"Ok. I love you!"_

The blaring of Keith's alarm clock broke him out of his trance. He groaned as he rolled out of the bed and went straight to the bathroom to get ready. _It was my fault, wasn't it, Mom? I wasn't a good enough son to make you stay._ The boy went to the room across the hall to make himself look presentable. Only when he looked upon the mirror did he realize he had been crying. 

 

~..*..~..*..~..*..~

 

The first half of school bored Keith to no end. First period, Lance came in late, taking a seat in the back corner. Keith decided to sit next to him, but they didn't talk. Second period was all icebreakers that weren't covered yesterday since the syllabus took up the entire class. By the time lunch rolled around, Keith just wanted nothing more than to book it out of the school for the forty-five minutes he had. Fate, however, had different plans. Along the way to his bike, the ravenette ran into one of the kids from Coran's class. By 'ran into' I mean physically falling over onto the poor, short sophomore. 

"GAH--what the hell, dude?" The young girl screeched, pushing Keith off of her and standing up.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry, are you ok?" The boy panicked and tried helping her up.

"Don't worry, I'm not broken--hey you're Keith, right? From 3rd?" the dirty blonde questioned.

"Yeah, you're...Pidgeon?"

"Pidge."

"Right, sorry."

"Stop apologizing, you're sounding like Lance."

"Oh, sor--I'll shut up now."

"Hey, wanna come sit with us? Me, Lance, and Hunk, I mean."

"You sure Lance--and Hunk-- are ok with that?"

"Oh please, Lance wouldn't mind." She giggled a little to herself. "He wouldn't mind at all." Keith was taken aback the the mischievous tone within her voice. Before he knew it, he was being pulled along by the girl to a table in the back corner of the cafeteria. Lance sat staring at his food while Hunk was talking to some girl with a brunette bob and gold hoop earrings.

"Hey guys, Keith's gonna sit with us today." Pidge blatantly stated. Lance, at the queue of a certain boy's name, perked up and stared directly at Keith. Hunk turned from his conversation from the girl to give the Korean boy a small head nod before returning to the girl. Keith, in return to all the attention gave a small, awkward wave to whoever was still paying attention before situating himself uncomfortably between Lance and Pidge. 

"So, Keith, tell us about yourself," the brunette demanded. Keith quickly observed she's not one who asks for things. 

"I--um, what do you want to know about me?" the boy stuttered out. 

"Your age, family, birthday, sexuality, if you're single or not, hobbies, certain interests, stuff like that." Keith immediately got embarrassed with the mention of sexuality, and the one afterwards didn't help.

"I'm...17, turning 18 on October 23rd. I like... drawing, I guess, and, well yeah." He felt extremely awkward at this moment. He slowly sank down in his seat while Pidge stared at him expectantly, as if he forgot to mention something. Keith tried looking at Lance for any more comfort to no avail. He was staring wide-eyed, glancing between Pidge and the senior. 

"Boring!" Pidge called, extending the 'o' for a few seconds. "Give us gossip! Give us something interesting! Give us the tea!" Keith looked towards Lance for any help at all, however the Cuban boy just smirked.

"Give us tea. Give us tea. Give us tea!" Lance started chanting, progressively getting louder and louder, banging his hands against the table along with the syllables. Keith, in hopes to quiet the boy, grabbed his hands to stop them from slapping the table. Something today went Keith's way as the other instantaneously froze at the touch.

"Calm your tits, I don't have tea to spill." Keith retorted. "I will, however, listen to _your_ tea if you have any." Pidge's face instantly lit up.

"Ok, ok, ok! So you know Lili, the president of GSA--"

"GSA? What's that?" Keith interrupted. 

"Gender Sexuality Alliance, the club that gathers in support for LGBTQ+ members." Lance butted in. "It's a really awesome club, you should join." He smiled weakly at the black-haired boy whose hands were still holding his.

Clubs weren't really Keith's thing, per se. This mullet-haired, all-black-wearing, emo kid did the bare minimum to get through high school thus far and doesn't want to start pushing to do more his senior year. So, when questioned to join a club he didn't want to join, he didn't know many of the members in the club, and wasn't sure if he even belonged in the category of participants in this club, it was obvious he wasn't gonna join. 

That was, until he looked Lance in the eyes, and he was reminded as to why he was even trying to be nice to Lance. He fucked this guy over. The least he could do was join this thing. "Sure."

~..*..~..*..~..*..~

For the first few minutes of 3rd period, Coran and Shiro were nowhere to be seen. So, in an unauthorized gym, there were five teenagers who shouldn't be trusted alone. Lance had pulled on a sweatshirt despite the heat inside the room. Allura had her hair all nice and done with tons of makeup on. Keith found it insane how much highlighter she applied under her eyes. He found it more insane how well she pulled it off. Pidge was on her laptop in the corner with it plugged in. It seemed like the only one prepared for exercise was Hunk who was wearing a yellow muscle tee and jade green athletic shorts. 

"Ok class!" A voice boomed from the doorway. Coran and Shiro stood there in similar clothes to yesterday's, both with clipboards in hand and walking to the spread out students. "Today, we are going to start with a trust-building activity. It is harmless if you let it be. I'm assuming you all know how to play truth or dare. Well this game is just truths! C'mon, now. Let's get in a circle!"

"I thought this class would be a more...physical education class." Hunk stated sounding uneasy. 

"That's for Unit 2! Unit 1 is trust and honesty based."

The group took a second before we arranged into a shape somewhat resembling a circle. "Who would like to go first?" Shiro asked the group.

"I'll go," Pidge spoke. "It's a question for Allura. How do you look so flawless all the time?"

"Aww, thank you!" the tan-skinned girl replied. "I try way to hard on it, so I'm glad it pays off."

Around the circle they went, practically complimenting one another in their questions. 

"Ok, Lance," the boy who was looking at the ground and fiddling with his sweatshirt finally tilted his head up. He made eye contact with Allura, the one asking the question. "Is it true that you're insecure?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HA! this fic is so cheesy, why do I write this....
> 
> pls comment im lonely


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writing schedule:
> 
> week 1: I shouldn't stress over writing, I've got plenty of time
> 
> week 2 friday: I've still got time
> 
> Saturday: go three days, I'll be fine
> 
> Sunday: I've got a day, I don't need to worry
> 
> Monday-Tuesday: FUCKFUCKFUCCCKKK I GOTTA FINISH THE CHAPTER!!!!!

#  Chapter Eight 

Lance POV 

The minute Lance hesitated, he knew he fucked up. The obvious answer to anyone would be 'no'. Maybe add a little scoff to really sell it. The anxiety of having a moment like this kept him up at night, so much he'd think he'd know exactly what to do in a situation like this. Everything changed, however, when someone called the poor boy out on his bullshit. 

So, Lance hesitated one moment too long to make it seem like the truth. The "No," that came from his lips was obviously too confident to be played off as 'the cool dude response'. The way these six people were staring at him made it clear they didn't believe him. "W-what? Is that not what you wanted me to say?" 

"No it's just...why'd you hesitate?" Hunk asked, face and voice filled with concern. 

"The question was a little off-setting, is all. Don't worry about it. I'm fine, guys." Another lie they don't believe. "Is there any way I can prove it?" 

The silence of the small group made his nerves in this moment shoot up. _They don't trust your answer,_ Lance starts to think. _They know you're lying. Keith knows you're lying._ After what felt like eternity, the bell rang, saving the poor boy from the interrogation. he bolted out of the gym and straight to his fourth period. 

~*.*.*~ 

Theater was generally easy to get through. Lance sat quietly in the back and let the teacher talk about what he needed to. School was almost out, Lance could last a little longer. 

"--and I hope all of you audition. The casting will be small, but doesn't mean you shouldn't try." Lance's teacher, Mr. Scott, rambled on about the new musical. "There's great talent in here, I'd hate to see it wasted." Mr. Scott looked directly at Lance for that last part. The Cuban boy shook his head gently as if to tell his teacher he wouldn't join. 

Lance's phone buzzed with a message from Keith. He immediately rushed to open and read it. _Wanna do somethin after school?_

It took a few minutes, but they decided what to do and when. The bell rang, and Lance bolted out of the classroom. The two boys met up by the bike parking, Lance obviously being extremely awkward while they drive away to the spot they met yesterday--this morning. 

"Why'd you want to do something with me?" Lance to Keith while riding the bike. The sound of the engine killed any chance of Keith hearing him, so Lance understood he could say anything he wanted without consequence. "I'm just a nuisance. Nothing special. Stop being friendly so I don't hurt you." The motorbike came to a halt, and Lance was scared Keith actually heard him. The boy looked around to realize the two had arrived. A sigh of relief escaped his lips. 

"C'mon, I wanna talk to you about something." Keith practically pulled Lance off the bike in impatience. He pulled the other along for most of the trail until they reached the center, like they were hours beforehand. Keith forcibly sat Lance down on the splotchy grass patch. 

"What's got you so excited to talk to me?" Lance tried to smile, but noticed the expression of Keith's face. _It wasn't excitement at all. This must be extremely serious._

"Lance..." Keith's hand was still holding his, and his thumb started to stroke the other's while he talked so sincerely. Lance froze up due to the situation he was in. "I know you were lying in 3rd."

"yeah, no shit."

"I'll open up to you if you open up to me. I'll tell you secrets not even Shiro knows."

"Why do I get to know before him?"

"You need to know more than he does."

"What if you bail on telling me?"

"I won't. My only conditions are, 1, that we don't tell anyone what we say here and 2, we don't judge each other for what's told. Ok?"

"Ok." Lance sighed. "I'm first?" Keith nodded in response. "Well, Keithy-boy, you're the first one to know why I'm so insecure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY SPOOPY MONTH!!
> 
> there's like no langst in this chapter im sorry  
> plus it's extremely jumpy and all over the place and short and why do you guyss read this
> 
> Next chapter (if I actually write it lol) will be almost entirely backstories.
> 
> K I L L M E


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS BE PROUD OF ME I DIDN'T START THIS MONDAY NIGHT!!!!
> 
> However I DID forget about writing more till Monday night...
> 
> I don't think you understand how much I procrastinate.
> 
> WARNING: panic attack, abuse mention, homophobic slurs

#  Chapter Nine 

Lance's POV 

"Where do I start?" Lance mumbled. "Can you--can you ask me about something? Otherwise I wouldn't know where to start." 

"Yeah, of course," Keith replied, giving Lance's hand a gentle squeeze. "Who's in your family?"

"Well, I've got my mama, my abuela, and my Aunt Sofie. Then there's my older brother Luis who's married to Julia. They have two girls, Nadia and Sarah. And there's Marco, my younger brother, and Veronica, my twin. Aunt Sofie has a kid named Mateo." Lance felt like he was rambling, so he stopped himself there. The other teenager smiled a little bit.

"What about your father?" he asked. Lance tensed up a bit at the question.

"He left."

"I'm sorry."

"Wasn't your fault."

"Can I push a little?" Keith questioned, getting a nod as a reply. "Why'd he leave?"

The boy sighed, eyes welling up with tears. "It was my fault. That household--he--was homophobic. Like, extremely homophobic. When I came out to him--it wasn't good." Keith started rubbing his other hand along Lance's arm as a way to comfort him.

"What happened?" Keith asked, realizing how fidgety Lance was. "It's ok if you don't want to answer. If I'm making you uneasy, don't worry about telling me."

"No, it's fine, it's just--hard. No one's ever cared about it before." The truth was that Lance didn't think Keith cared. He felt as if Keith was doing it because he was asked or something along the lines of that. _He's doing it to boost his morale. He's doing it so he feels better about asking you._ Still, Lance went forward. "Almost all of my family rejected me for who I am, but most of them came around to it. My dad...he started to verbally abuse me about it. He'd say things like, 'No one would ever want a bisexual son!' He wouldn't let me near my siblings and cousins. My mom kicked him out before he got worse."

"Lance, I'm so sorry about that."

"Stop apologizing. It's not your fault, and it's not gonna change anything. I still split my family apart."

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did. I can tell everyone misses my dad. They all resent me for causing his absence. If I wasn't bis--"

"Do _not_ blame yourself. He's the homophobic bastard who doesn't know how to love his son."

"Can we move on? Please?" Keith sighed before agreeing, trying to come up with a new question.

"Why don't you talk to Hunk and Pidge about this stuff?" Lance scoffed at the question, half because the question was obvious, half because he realized a little more that Keith didn't want to be in this situation.

"First off, they never ask. They don't care. They have their own shit to worry about. You're the only one who's...expressed concern with my mental health. Besides my sister, but I can't talk to her about it. She doesn't complain and she's been through the same shit I have."

"Why don't you think they care? Are you guys not friends?"

"They're my friends. I'm not they're friends."

"Lance, that's not how that works. I know they like hanging out with you. Otherwise--"

"If they liked hanging out with me, than why didn't Pidge hang out with me at all this summer? And why did she hang out with Hunk whenever she had free time but _never_ me? And why did Hunk only try four times this summer, and then had something more important to do three of those times?"

"Oh my god, Lance, I didn--"

"I've been around you longer than I have my so called 'friends' all summer, and you're only doing it out of pity."

"That's not--"

"Why did I even tell you this shit? You have your own problems to worry about. I shouldn't be one of them. You met me yesterday, and I'm already burdening you with my life story. I thought I--" 

Lance had grown accustomed to pointing out signs of a panic attack. It became a habit so he could try to calm himself before they came on. Usually his symptoms went like this: raised heart rate, dizziness, and breathing difficulties; the most obvious ones. If he missed the first two, breathing was the last chance before he could calm himself to the point of a mild one. In this moment, however, Lance didn't notice a single sign. Suddenly, he couldn't catch his breath. All his surroundings were disoriented in some form. His eyes couldn't focus on anything, and nothing he did felt real. His chest felt like it was going to burst as well as implode if that was possible. Lance's mind was racing, trying to find out what the hell he was supposed to do but to no avail. He was terrified beyond belief, and there was nothing he could do about it. 

"--ance?--nc--can yo--ere--e?"

Every second, his situation felt worse and worse. 

"I--eed--ou--to--ount--ith me."

Time felt like it was warped into unidentifiable measurements. Everything was going fast, but it felt so slow.

"Thre--ix--nin--twelv--fteen--eighte--"

_Focus on something. Try to focus on something else._

"--enty-on--twent--our--wenty--even--"

_Someone's talking. They're trying to help. Focus on that._

"--irty, thirty-three, thirty-six, thirty-nine."

He could finally understand what was going on.

"Forty-two, forty-five, forty-eight," Lance joined in, the same pace as Keith. Soon they counted up to ninety-nine, and Lance had worked through his panic attack. 

With Keith.

_Hopefully he understands now they weren't lying when they said I was insecure._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo...that chapter was kinda heavy. I'm really sorry.
> 
> Regarding Lance's panic attack: I am one of the lucky few who hasn't experienced a panic attack. I don't know exactly what it feels like. I looked up stories online to try to make it as realistic as possible, and I am sorry if I did anything to trigger or offend anyone about it. Please remember that everyone's attacks are different, so please don't try comparing it to yours if you have them. I am sorry if it's unrealistic or doesn't match other ones. 
> 
> Also, I want everyone reading this to understand there are people that will help you in any situation. There are hotlines ready for contact 24/7 if you need help, as well as any friends or family. (I am also an option if all else fails)
> 
> Please check out this website for a list of varied hotlines:  
> http://www.pleaselive.org/hotlines/
> 
> If you are not comfortable with calling, or in a situation where you can't call, find any of these hotlines' websites to see if you can text in.
> 
> Please stay safe.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH!!!  
> aaaaannndddd......  
> HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!  
> What are your plans??
> 
> Also, I want to warn you that I might miss deadlines every once and a while. My schedule is getting kinda busy...

#  Chapter Ten 

Lance POV 

Months had passed since the start of school. Alongside it, multiple things have changed. Keith has sat with Hunk, Pidge, and Lance every day at lunch. Allura and Veronica with their new friend Romelle started sitting with them as well. Hunk and his girlfriend Shay just celebrated their one year anniversary. Allura started dating a guy named Lotor who goes to the rival school. As for Lance...

Lance has been declining rapidly. After Keith and Lance had their talk, Keith had taken Lance home, completely forgetting to talk about Keith's problems. And Lance felt absolutely _horrible_ about it. What if he had no one to go to about his issues? What if it gave him an excuse to rant about what was wrong? Lance took away that ability of his because he had a stupid fucking panic attack. 

Currently, Lance was cooped up in his room, hugging his pillow tightly, waiting for his sister to arrive home from her date because he missed her. Even if they spent their entire second period and lunch together, it wasn't as much as he was used to. Lance started getting rides from Keith every day, making the twins more distant than ever. 

It was about 10:34 pm on a Tuesday night when Lance had gotten a text from the only one who tries to contact him anymore: Keith. 

_Hey, I'm bored, wanna do something??_

Lance smiled slightly at the message before replying with a simple 'yes'. _I can try to hang out with Veronica tomorrow. She's on a date, anyways._

Three minutes later, Keith's bike had pulled into his driveway, not very quietly might Lance add. The Cuban boy crept out of his window and slid onto the bike, pulling on the helmet he's worn dozen of times before.

"You got here quick," Lance remarked.

"I was sort of on my way already before I texted you..." Keith started the bike and rode off before Lance could answer. The half Korean boy drove the pair for about a fifteen minutes to their usual spot, stopping by McDonald's along the way.

"Guess what?" Keith asked, eager for Lance to respond. The two sat down in the same place as usual.

"What?" The other asked.

"It's my birthday!" Keith practically shouted, an obviously fake smile plastered on his face.

"What? Why didn't you tell me?" Lance questioned, concerned. "I would've gotten you a gift."

"No one really cares about my birthday." Keith started to look up at the sky, smiling slightly less. "No one has in years."

"How old are you turning?" Lance tried, hoping to lighten the mood.

"18."

"Ah, finally an adult." Lance commented while sipping on his soda. The other boy nodded while taking a bottle out of his bag. "What's that?"

"Some form of alcohol." was all that was said before a swig was taken straight from the top. Once Keith finished his sip, he tilted the bottle towards Lance. _Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad ide--_ His thoughts were interrupted by the burning drink sliding down his throat.

"Keith, what's wrong?" Lance asked, throat aching from the strong liquid.

"The full story?" Lance nodded. "My mom disappeared twelve years ago, the day my dad had--she's been sending me birthday gifts every year since then. This year, she gave me a letter saying that she wanted to meet me again. As if she can abandon me and walk back into my life like nothing. Like it wouldn't affect me."

"I'm so sorry, Keith. I had no idea." Lance murmured.

"Don't apologize, right?' Keith laughed at his own joke right before taking another sip. Back and forth the bottle went until it was nearly empty, however that's not saying much since the bottle was small and half of it was empty before they started. They started a small game of truth or dare, something that would usually be boring with two people if not for the booze. 

"Umm, truth."

"How many relationships have you had?" Keith questioned.

"Mmmmmm, three. Two girls, one guy for like a week."

"Oh, I thought you were _Loverboy Lance_." Lance felt slightly turned on by the way Keith said his nickname that took him years to get.

"Doesn't matter. Your turn."

"Dare!" Keith shouted very energetically. _Don't say it,_ Lance's conscience tried. It was drowned out by the alcohol that was consumed. 

"I dare youuu..." Lance strung out, inching closer and closer to Keith's face, "to kisss meee." The Cuban boy started playing with the hem of Keith's jacket, biting his bottom lip in attempt to look sexy. Keith broke out into another fit of giggles.

"What, like on the mouth?" Keith noticed the seriousness in Lance's eyes. Truth is, Keith can hold his liquor well. Knowing Lance was drunk made it easier to let loose. So his almost-fully working mind comprehended all the moments he'd spent around Lance; it took him a little to understand Lance liked him. And the last thing wanted to do to Lance was to hurt him right now, when he was drunk and unable to think rationally. 

So, Keith leaned towards his best friend with a fake smirk on his mouth. Although, it was Lance that made the swift motion and connected their lips.

Both boys were blown away by the small contact made. It was soft and gentle, barely existing. They both pulled back after a second, eyes fluttering open. Keith had to admit, the feeling was pretty nice. Lance was the one who wanted--craved--more. So he did the "logical" thing to do: crash himself forcefully back into Keith. 

This kiss was filled with more passion, more hunger. Keith swung his arms around Lance's neck, pushing them together.

_Buzz. Buzz. Buzz._

Lance groaned as he pulled out his phone, the screen flashing with Veronica's contact picture.

"Yes?" he asked in a slightly aggravated tone. 

"Can you come home?" Lance's twin asked in a quiet voice. "I'm feeling very...insecure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo, i thought i made a long chapter.....turns out i didnt....
> 
> ANYWAYS!!! Have a SpOoKy HaLlOwEeN!!
> 
> 0.o
> 
> Tell me what you think!! I take mainly 'constructive' criticism

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far, thank you! I hope you stick around!! (I know it sucks, I’m sorry)


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